Entangling into another meditation

Sometimes, the more confused you are, the more clearly you will see. I dun know why I say that, but it seems that way for me, at least at the current moment. Something's just telling me that something cannot go on and on forever. Something's telling me that I need to make a decision fast, before everything in front of me starts destroying me... okok, I think I'm exaggerating that part. But I am surely seeing the distance right now and it doesn't look good. Hmm...., yes... it's too distant. Sometimes, I wonder... why must it be so distant? Isn't there any ways I can reach it? I think I still like to use Jay Chou's analogy in this case, about the seagull and the fish... it perfectly illustrates the distance that is so distant that nothing can be done to close the gap. Maybe the starting is just a mistake... maybe it's just a mistake after all.

So now what?

Something inside me is telling me to let go and be sure, I'll be letting go. Being entangled too much by thoughts and feelings is not gonna help and I know that, everyone knows that. Perhaps I should even stop thinking at all... although I dun think I'll cease to exist, according to Descarte. If anyone's gonna say anything about me, it's their business. I think too much and I act too much. It's time to settle down and not think that much anymore. I have one more project to be done and I shall do it by Wednesday... since I may be called back for reservist training on Thursday and Friday.

Enough on senseless rattling.

Well, today is really a strucking day for me, although people around me may not seem to notice... Everything around me suddenly seem so clear to me.... yes... everything... seems so distant...

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