I wonder how, I wonder why?

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I wonder how and I wonder why?

Maybe it's because of Sunday, I start to think really seriously about an alternative lifestyle... not what you are thinking of, of course. But seriously speaking, I think it's normally fair for anyone to ask why on earth he's here for. What's your purpose in life and why? This is perhaps one question which I think everyone will search for in certain point of their life. Some can't find an answer and committed suicide or live their remaining life in despair. Some claimed to have found an answer and some claimed that they don't want to know the answer. Some hoped that they are some important part of some conspiracy theories. I can't be sure if I have found that answer, but I know that this answer lies deep in my heart somewhere.

That day I was talking with one of my friends... (you dun need to know which day and which friend) Then I realise that I hold hope for almost everything in my life. Perhaps there is only one thing in life which I once felt the more hopeless of... or at least am hopeless about it. This thing.. I will call it my feeling for another girl... heck... you know what I mean arh. How should I put it? I like more than one girl in my entire life (duh). To put it exactly, it's two in my entire life, two whom I want to entrust my entire feeling upon, but I dun know whether it's a joke or what, both ended the same way. I think I'm not going to tell anyone of my romance story here. In any case, I'm not implying that I felt hopeless after that but instead, it was the process which I went through. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there, who like someone but know that being together is like forcing a sea gull to like a fish (yeah I like that), and yeah, catch that feeling.

Anyway, one thing I realise from that is that hope sustains and keeps people alive. It is with hope that we choose to wake up everyday to look at the sun, if we miss the sunrise and face the night, if we miss the sunset. We hope that tomorrow will be a much better day, that the next girl we meet is a better one, that the next paper is an easy one... something like that. Yeah... out of a sudden... perhaps hope.

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