It sounds so strange, but today, I heard Ellson talking to this friend of ours, asking him to look into the sky tonight and get a feel how small and seemingly insignificant are we. And I decided that while I was walking home just now, to take a look at the sky, just a look, and yeah, we are so small..., mankind is just so small within the macrocosm of this universe. Just exactly two months ago, I would look at the sky, and get the feeling of emptiness and void within me. I wouldn't admit then, and I wouldn't even be bothered about it then.

But, friends, sometimes we reached home after a day of 'fun' and even so, we still feel a sense of void and emptiness in our heart, as if everything has lost its meaning and purpose. Sometimes, we got what we want but we do not feel the sense of achievement. Have you had that kind of feeling before?

But bear in mind, it's not a question of whether you are bored or not, but a question of whether do you feel fulfilled or not, it's the question of the 'void' in our heart. Cos if you are bored, all you need to do is to just party the night away and walaaa, you got rid of the boredom. Anyway, the failure to make the distinction between the void and the boredom is what a lot of us experience at time, and that resulted in a lot of us engaging in a lot of 'fun activities' such as partying to fill up the 'hole'. So what's the 'void'? And what are we doing about it?

This reminds me of a famous saying by Pascal: 'When Man is created by God, we are created with a space in our heart, it's a God-size void which only God can fill' (parahrased). Perhaps that is why, when the night is silent and the air is quiet, that when we are alone, we hear a voice, an unknown and yet familiar voice whispering to us. I dun know if some of the readers can identify with that, but certainly there's a voice which is constantly speaking to us. That is the voice of the One who is able to fill our 'God-size' void. Whether you take it or not, it's entirely up to you. I'm attemtpting to explain this void.

Eventually, I'm not going to prove to people the validity of my argument. Cos if God can be proven by empirical method, then he shouldn't be called God. That's also the reason why people failed in their try to prove the existence of God without letting him to fill up the void. Cos God is not the result of the kopitiam discussion, but the reason why we are able to sit in the kopitiam and discuss about Him. Therefore, I am unable to prove God's existence except through my own personal experience. In fact, the best evidence of God's existence is our hearts, when He enters the 'void' and makes it His home. That is the best proof and the beginning of a purpose driven life (not advertising for Rick Warren). As what He has said, 'I have come that they may have life and have it to the full' (John 10:10b)

Okay, enough of philosophy. I think I will leave it at here for all of us to think about.

So the past few days have been successfully smooth, despite the experience of poor time management. No work was compromised as yet, though work is piling up. Now let's do a stock take on the work I need to do:

EU1101E simulation research and readings
JS1101E project research
HY2229 readings and tests
HY2245 book review research, essay research, project research and readings
FNA1002 project discussion, readings and tutorials.

That makes 12 academic related stuff to do for each week. No big deal, but will need a bit of time management.And that is exclusive of ECAs (not CCAs). Should be able to manage properly since term break coming soon.

Enough rumbling. Now let's do it the best and let God do the rest. Till I fill the void in this blog again.


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