Close to the line, close to Him

Well... today's experience just brought back some memories. But it also reminded me something. It seems like it has been a long time since I crossed the line. It seems that I have been taking it for granted that I'm always ready to cross the line. But well... this is just all a myth. The truth may be that I was ready to say yes but it was never an easy decision. Perhaps the reason why I felt so elated and excited over what happened today is cos it really brought me back to the memories of that God-chosen day when I decided to receive Christ. Or maybe it's because this is the first time that I witness the whole process of a person's spiritual journey towards Christ, from the start to the end and the new beginning (other than myself, of course).

I seems to have spoken quite a bit on the chronology of the events so I will spare my fans of the pain of reading my story again. But what really struck me is how we, before crossing the line, can undergo so much struggle for such a simple (yet important) decision. I can be sure that I did struggle a lot on the decision making part, especially after 4 Dec. There were really times when I almost... almost... almost... just that one tiny step away from crossing the line right here where I'm typing this blog... yeah my room. But in the end, I crossed it at Nexus auditorium.

Then it's the aftermath of the decision. It's especially strange when after so long of rejecting the idea, you reconcile with the idea and even accepted it... with faith some more. so much for so much excuses. I remember asking myself that night, 'what have I done?' and I remember waking up the next morning realising that I am a Christian. I remember how much I found it awkward for a large bunch of people welcoming me into the family at that night... a bit paiseh... and today, it just so happens that I did the same thing I found awkward a few months back. I remember it finding it so strange to meet Robert and QP after they returned from Malaysia. A bit strange then. I remember how much struggle I had to pull through when I tried to break the news to YT and Ken (then someone broke it for me). I remember how enthusiatic I was when I tried to share Christ with my friends when we were on our way to Genting (though they dun know that I was a Christian then). I remember... I remember so much thing. I remember one night YT was asking me whether have I started loving Him. I replied that I was only giving the relationship a try. A try? Nope, I would have answer a firm 'yes' if the question is being posed to me now. I remember how clueless was I to all the things (not exactly clueless but still blur blur) and now... for two weeks, I am asked to serve Him in a different way as what I have done for the past few months.

Oh man, there are so many things to be remembered.

And I remain faithful that more will come.

And I really pray that someone out there will receive Him, the Lord our God, into his life, into her life, into their lives. Because with God, all things are possible. I know, I believe this. And it will happen, cos I will pray till it happens.


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