Guard duty night - deja vu

Deja vu. This is some sort of feeling which invokes mixed feeling, a strange and unexplainable feeling. I can still remembers the days of my NS when I was doing night duty at ... night (duh) - the prowling especially after my BMT (but considering I have never done prowling in my BMT). Prowling will alway involve a pair of prowlers and a sentry will always involve... a sentry. Prowling is the time where people either worsen their relationship with each other or consolidate their relationship with each other. For me, I have certainly consolidated my relationship with the RPs at my camp, although I didn't really get to mix around with them much, but they know me and I know them well enough to 'hala' with each other. Prowling also allowed me to know more about my prowling buddy better, especially if I'm doing someone of the same unit as me. But of course, I dun normally view guard duty with anticipation since it means I have to stay in camp a whole night (a whole day if it's a weekend). This is something which I always try to siam but still do because I have no choice and I dun want to get charged.

This very night, I'll be doing guard duty of a different sort. I'll be doing guard duty in NUS, block E1A (this I can say because it's not classified). Have to guard the classrooms basically. But this is not part of the schedule. It is part of my plan to stay over in school so that I won't be wasting time travelling to and fro from home to school and I can grab a bit sleep although the sleeping condition may not be that good as compared to my bed. Staying overnight is not the first time and treating the classroom like my own place is also not unique in my experience considering that I have done so last sem. However, this is the first time I am systematically arranging my schedule to stay over in school in view of the preparation for the exam. To put it in a practical sense, it doesn't mean that I will be studying until midnight or so, or it doesn't mean that I have more time for revision, but it helps to maintain my mind in a state of preparedness in anticipation of the exam. At least, the atmosphere here helps me to stay aware of the current situation now. It can also serve a good time for fellowship though I'm not sure how much fellowship can there be considering the small number of brothers and sisters left in the rooms as I'm typing this post.

This is the first time I'm having exam in NUS as a Christian. Somehow or rather, God keeps reminding me of that. There are normally two outcomes when it comes to an exam - either you grow closer to God or you draw yourself away from God. The former situation will occur when one realise that human effort is after all limited and that we need God to reach the potential that he has made for us. This will lead to more dependency on God, and bear in mind this is not to be seen as a sign of weakness for only when you acknowledge that you are then is the beginning of your gain in strength. By depending more on God it means that we are acknowledging that we are limited and we allow God to come into the picture, knowing that we can do all things thru Christ who gives us strength. The latter scenario will occur when we start thinking that it's not the time for God and that we decided to focus more on our studies. It's not a wrong to focus on studies but it shouldn't be the way that because of exam, we put God at the sideline and not acknowledging Him to be one who can help us in our exam. Normally, this is a sign of self centreness and failure to recognise the sovereignty of God over our life. For me, the ending of my first semester during the exam period was the time which drew me close to God, it was the time when I really depended on Him (though I wasn't a believer yet) and it was the time when He really shows Himself to be real in my life. Therefore, there is no way that I'm going to be ironic about the whole thing and allow this exam to draw me away from God. It is God who gave me strength in the past exam and it will be He who is going to give me more strength this time round. He gives us strength and to ignore Him is to fall into the trap of the evils and devils.

Quote (from myself): 'Only when people reach the dead end of their lives will they start searching for a God'


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