Of Feelings and Spirit
I was thinking and reflecting about the past few weeks, about what happened to people, what happened to myself, what happened to the NUS ministry. Especially in this transitional period in the NUS ministry, I can really feel the heat on me. It seems as if God is telling me something, but He wants me to experience it myself.
Taking care Someone once told someone who in turn told me that when a sheep is not feeling well, the shepherd feels much more worse. I can totally agree with that. Probably it hurts me more when I see the people whom I'm taking care of feeling hurt. Sometimes I just wonder if I'm adequate enough to help them or not, sometimes I just wonder if God is able to speak into their lives at that particular point in time or not. From the time I started taking care of people in the ministry, I thought to myself, it's never a waste of time for me, cos I'm investing my time in other people's lives. I believe very much in the system of 'follow ups' and shepherdings. I thank God that at times of need (whether I knew it or not), I had my shepherd and follow uppers to grab hold of me. I believe that as long as the sheep dun feel that it is a waste of time, and just turn up for the sake of turning up, my time would not be wasted. And as I rise up to take care of more sheep, especially in the capacity within the cg, I realise that I need this conviction even more. As I begin to encounter problems within the ministry pertaining to these sheep, I realise that God's conviction for me in this is so much needed to keep me going. I often wonder out loud to myself, when people whom I'm taking care of seem to run into problems, if I should just give them one tight slap, tell them to wake up their idea and just walk away. I realise that if I do it so, I'm lacking love and patience. If I want to confront them, I lack the love and wisdom to do it properly. Perhaps, there may come a point when I need to do it, but when that day will come, only God knows.
Serving I was thinking to myself, if there is one thing that can sum up my entire Christian walk, what would be that verse? God immediately gave me an answer. It can be found in Matthew 6:33, the first ever verse that I have ever applied in my Christian life. I dun know if my readers agree, but I want to serve God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength, and throughout the year, He hasn't shortchanged me a bit. And I was thinking about this transitional period and I believe that it should be about time that the whole group starts serving, not only within their cg level but also in their outreach. Maybe some people dun like to outreach to other people, they dun like to share the gospels with other people. My stand is clear on this, and at least when it comes to myself, I can't bring myself to compromise on this. I believe that you dun call yourself a Christ follower until you develop a burden for those whom He loves and has died for. You cannot say that you love God until you love the people whom He loves. And loving the people whom God loves means facilitating their journey to come to know Him, to come to live a life with Him. Being selfish is something un-Christ, and certainly not wanting to outreach is being selfish. Perhaps I'm being a bit harsh here. Perhaps people who dun like to outreach doesn't feel comfortable doing so, doesn't feel adequate doing so, doesn't feel equipped doing so. But I really dun want this to be an excuse for myself for the rest of my life. I have these feelings too. Yet, I feel Christ's burden even more. I often think, if Claramae, QP and Robert had not spent the effort reaching out to me, I wouldn't have lived such a fulfilled life under Christ. Same thing! I want my friends to live such a life too. That's why I share, and I remember sharing it once that I really dun like to evangelise, but Christ's commission is bigger than my dislike. And perhaps it's for God, that I want to push on and persevere, regardless of what problems there might be in the ministry.
Rising up As the second week of May is drawing to a close, a number of brothers and sisters are moving on to the Adult group. Among them would include a number of leaders, who have been making their presence felt in this ministry. A huge leadership gap is going to occur in the NUS ministry. No doubt God is going to rise up new leaders, but on our part, we have to put in our 100% in the process as well. God do not respond to those who do not respond to Him. New blood definitely has to be injected into the ministry, and I am convicted that it should. The past one week, I have seen the group struggling to cope with the impending exodus of the old birds. I look at my cg, (look within first), it is a very young cg, in term of spiritual and physical age. A lot of potential, and yet external threats and internal weaknesses may be the stumbling block the group has to overcome. I often wondered, is there a discrepancy between my generation and the younger generation? It seems that my generation we were so fervent for God, not to say that the younger generation they are not. But it was such a great difference, and I just can't point the finger exactly where is the difference. Is it us, or is it them, or is it just a generation gap? Certainly, as people rise up in this transitional period, the younger generation would definitely have to rise up to support their leaders more.
I think to myself, it's all from God, to God and for God.
Taking care Someone once told someone who in turn told me that when a sheep is not feeling well, the shepherd feels much more worse. I can totally agree with that. Probably it hurts me more when I see the people whom I'm taking care of feeling hurt. Sometimes I just wonder if I'm adequate enough to help them or not, sometimes I just wonder if God is able to speak into their lives at that particular point in time or not. From the time I started taking care of people in the ministry, I thought to myself, it's never a waste of time for me, cos I'm investing my time in other people's lives. I believe very much in the system of 'follow ups' and shepherdings. I thank God that at times of need (whether I knew it or not), I had my shepherd and follow uppers to grab hold of me. I believe that as long as the sheep dun feel that it is a waste of time, and just turn up for the sake of turning up, my time would not be wasted. And as I rise up to take care of more sheep, especially in the capacity within the cg, I realise that I need this conviction even more. As I begin to encounter problems within the ministry pertaining to these sheep, I realise that God's conviction for me in this is so much needed to keep me going. I often wonder out loud to myself, when people whom I'm taking care of seem to run into problems, if I should just give them one tight slap, tell them to wake up their idea and just walk away. I realise that if I do it so, I'm lacking love and patience. If I want to confront them, I lack the love and wisdom to do it properly. Perhaps, there may come a point when I need to do it, but when that day will come, only God knows.
Serving I was thinking to myself, if there is one thing that can sum up my entire Christian walk, what would be that verse? God immediately gave me an answer. It can be found in Matthew 6:33, the first ever verse that I have ever applied in my Christian life. I dun know if my readers agree, but I want to serve God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength, and throughout the year, He hasn't shortchanged me a bit. And I was thinking about this transitional period and I believe that it should be about time that the whole group starts serving, not only within their cg level but also in their outreach. Maybe some people dun like to outreach to other people, they dun like to share the gospels with other people. My stand is clear on this, and at least when it comes to myself, I can't bring myself to compromise on this. I believe that you dun call yourself a Christ follower until you develop a burden for those whom He loves and has died for. You cannot say that you love God until you love the people whom He loves. And loving the people whom God loves means facilitating their journey to come to know Him, to come to live a life with Him. Being selfish is something un-Christ, and certainly not wanting to outreach is being selfish. Perhaps I'm being a bit harsh here. Perhaps people who dun like to outreach doesn't feel comfortable doing so, doesn't feel adequate doing so, doesn't feel equipped doing so. But I really dun want this to be an excuse for myself for the rest of my life. I have these feelings too. Yet, I feel Christ's burden even more. I often think, if Claramae, QP and Robert had not spent the effort reaching out to me, I wouldn't have lived such a fulfilled life under Christ. Same thing! I want my friends to live such a life too. That's why I share, and I remember sharing it once that I really dun like to evangelise, but Christ's commission is bigger than my dislike. And perhaps it's for God, that I want to push on and persevere, regardless of what problems there might be in the ministry.
Rising up As the second week of May is drawing to a close, a number of brothers and sisters are moving on to the Adult group. Among them would include a number of leaders, who have been making their presence felt in this ministry. A huge leadership gap is going to occur in the NUS ministry. No doubt God is going to rise up new leaders, but on our part, we have to put in our 100% in the process as well. God do not respond to those who do not respond to Him. New blood definitely has to be injected into the ministry, and I am convicted that it should. The past one week, I have seen the group struggling to cope with the impending exodus of the old birds. I look at my cg, (look within first), it is a very young cg, in term of spiritual and physical age. A lot of potential, and yet external threats and internal weaknesses may be the stumbling block the group has to overcome. I often wondered, is there a discrepancy between my generation and the younger generation? It seems that my generation we were so fervent for God, not to say that the younger generation they are not. But it was such a great difference, and I just can't point the finger exactly where is the difference. Is it us, or is it them, or is it just a generation gap? Certainly, as people rise up in this transitional period, the younger generation would definitely have to rise up to support their leaders more.
I think to myself, it's all from God, to God and for God.
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