Suicide

On Wednesday morning, I had a spectacular start to my morning. At around 8 plus, I heard a loud bang. Since there was construction around my estate, I thought the workers dropped something heavy. So I continued sleeping. Then my aunt called my phone, asking me if I'm still at home. She told me not to go down my flat via the staircase as someone jumped off my block and committed suicide... I climbed out of my bed and looked out, I saw the body. Immediately, I woke up and went to brush my teeth.

Thought death only occurs in NTU or NUS or Jurong East? I saw suicide at Bukit Panjang. To me, currently, death is not really an abstract to think about, but something I see happening. Especially suicide. Wenjiang was sharing in service that if only we had rubbed shoulders with these people, things could have turned out different for them. I began thinking about why people commit suicide and went back to the bible. To the most famous suicide case in the Bible.

When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty silver coins to the chief priests and the elders. "I have sinned," he said, "for I have betrayed innocent blood."
"What is that to us?" they replied. "That's your responsibility."

So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself. - Matt 27:3-5


He was remorsed but he did not see God in the picture. Most of the time, I think people commit suicide because they did not see any hope in their life. It can be due to a lot of reasons, like cancellation of scholarship, getting 3 As and 1 B for your A level, getting 7 distinctions for your O'level, or getting a 4.49 for your cap score. You get the idea. At the end of the day, if we dun have God in the picture, would we see any hope for our lives? If God's love is not experienced in our lives, then would we be able to see any hope? If these people had rubbed shoulders with God's people, would things really have turned out differently?

Human dun only commit physical suicide, they also commit spiritual suicide as well. Usually, the latter will precede the former. In the case of Judas, he committed suicide because he had first committed spiritual suicide by allowing greed to take over his heart. 3 years of being around with Jesus did not serve to change his heart. I just wonder how people commit spiritual suicide in their own lives by purposely hardening their own hearts in God.... and refusing to listen to the Spirit...

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