It's another new year!!!
So another year is coming to an end and it's that time of the year again when I will once again take stock of my past year. I am thinking whether should I do it differently this time but I shall stick with what I have done earlier and integrate what I want to do in the later part of this post. So, as usual:
January
I have not much memory about January, except that it was a month when I thought there was increasing dynamics in the cg, with the latest addition in the cg. I also saw the death of an acquaintance whom I serve with in the ALIVE programme. If you remember, he passed away as a result of the relapse of his cancer. It was sad, and it prompted me to send in a lot of emo emails to my cg and reflect a lot about life and spreading the word also. This month also marked the beginning of the end of my years in NUS and I also began to think about what am I going to do with my life after that. It prompted a lot of hard questioning of myself, and also prompted me to think much more about what I was going to do in my own ministry. It was still along the same line as what I wrote on 1 Jan 2009. We also saw the beginning of our very own Uni-YA service. I also rose up to lead my own team of ushers as a floor manager. There was also the highly anticipated YG conference, which I am currently planning for.
February
Surprisingly, reflection did not stop in the month of February. Work was also piling up, and I was getting hyped up for my research with my thesis. There was also the planning for the new batch of DCLTP. I was also getting prepared for all sorts of things that I thought were going to happen. In particular, I think I received revelations from the word of God that I thought were just plain obvious. Just to recap a bit here, it was about the opening of our spiritual eyes to see the unseen and what God is doing in our lives beyond the physical realm. It did apply a lot to me as I began to prepare for the time of transition ahead. But at this point, little did I know what was to come was to be one of the most trying times.
March
Saw the first suicide of my life. Seriously the first suicide. To recap a bit, someone jumped off and landed right outside my room window. What a way to start a day!!! I was slightly traumatized, for the fact that that was the thing that woke me up that morning, instead of my trusty alarm clock. Again, a lot transpired during this month as I received the news about the formation of the SMU group. This means preparing my caregroup for the changes. It was a difficult task for me, particularly since the caregroup had grown quite close over the past few months. There was also the DCLTP camp. This is one camp that I missed the previous year but was tasked to organize in 2009. Ironically speaking, there were actually calls for me to ‘repeat’ the DCLTP during the camp. I told them I dun mind, just that I was involved in the planning and I already knew what to expect, so that sort of defeat the purpose. And I conducted the first turnout in my life. Interesting experience I must say. The DCLTP saw more potential CLs graduating and passing through the pipeline as the Uni-YA’s core team.
April
This was a hectic month because my thesis was due that month, and not to say that I was pre-occupied with a lot of projects that were due. It was also the official formation of the SMU group. To me, it just means that I was left with 5 girls in the caregroup. I remembered one of my classmates (who is actually Guan’s cousin) came and ask me why my cg consists of all girls and whether I am ok with that. I actually replied that these sisters should be privileged that I am leading them. And till this day, I still believe so. Haha. I also got to know that I will be moving over to YG and I will be taking charge of one of the transitional cgs. I believe it was also around this period that I was inducted into the core team of the BLM. Towards the end of the month, I also had my first ever wisdom tooth extraction. It was painful and I thought I never wanted to have one again… I ended my exam at the end of the month also, after my last two papers ever in NUS. I remembered going for unit that day and telling the unit, “Exams? What is exam?”
May
May was quite happening and a spiritually reviving month. Firstly, there was my first transition to the YG in a transitional cg. Then there was the Uni-YA camp. I think that is one interesting camp because there was little teaching and a lot of workshops to attend. I thought that the place was good, but the teaching area was not that conducive… but then again, what’s new? After the camp, I had the opportunity to fly to Kuching again… This time not for field trip but a real spiritual trip to the leadership conference, the last ever for the Hope movement. I was very happy to be back at Kuching again, and I think I might want to go back there just for the fun of it next year or so. I felt that this conference clarified a lot of things for me, especially after a lot of food for thoughts from the Uni-YA camp also. The transition makes me think about how best I can serve in my new ministry and how can I best contribute, as well as what I can do for a living that will not compromise my ministry in church. Oh yeah, I also started attending RT. Not fun at all…
June
This month I got officially restructured into a YG cg under Jan and we began to plan for the bazaar with Hope Centre. This is also the first time in my spiritual life that I found that I dun need to get myself involved in Matric. It’s really some changes that I have to get used to. Other than a few interviews, including a fling with MFA, this is quite a quiet month, getting to know my new cg, which comprised of people whom I dun really know that well, which was quite good and exciting for me. I thought I can serve in this cg for long…
July
This month, we had the bazaar. And more amazingly, we saw a new brother in our cg coming to know Christ. His name is Dashun, who reminded me of Ken and Weikai as the most faithful non-believer joining us. Unfortunately for him, his family encountered some problem after his conversion and he has been finding it difficult to join us after that. Yet, it was quite amazing to see his conversion somewhere out of the blue one night when we were preparing for the bazaar. I also had my convocation that month, which saw everyone coming, other than my old NUS A1 people… Kinda sad to think about it. We also saw Weikai becoming more receptive to the gospel and me and Claramae began to go full steam ahead to connect with him and try to help him with all his doubts.
August
More interviews coming in, but there was no positive replies. There was the two ESS, which I found myself serving in one of them, as an actor on stage. I thought it was quite fun acting on stage, and getting to do all sort of things that I never thought I will be doing. On that fateful ESS, Weikai received Christ!!! It was a stunning development for me, but it was not unexpected. I remembered sitting at the back of the auditorium after the service waiting for Claramae and him and Michelle. Then I sensed that the time was near and I walked down. It was the right timing. He had made the decision and it was the time to pray with him. I couldn’t contain the excitement. This experience taught me an important lesson. Nothing we have done in the Lord will be in vain and it will just be in God’s timing. This month also saw Elvis officially joining us in the service; he eventually became my intellectual buddy cum sheep. There was also the first Hope GC which was held here in Singapore. I need to admit that this GC was a bit less happening than the ones I have attended but the teachings made me wanted to go for the next one which would be held in KL in November.
September
More interviews coming in and I think I got the job offer from Tencube. The whole story has been chronicled in one of my previous blog post. I was also forced to think about a lot of theological issues during this period, because of the seminars and books I have read. It helped to sharpen my level of thinking and I began to see a lot of things in new light as well. Consequently, I think I also began to feel a discontentment on the state of bible knowledge within the church community as well. It is something that I felt very strongly since then and I found myself scrutinizing every verses as people taught the word of God in service or in cg.
October
Quiet month. Other than a lot of interviews from the civil service, I dun really remember a lot of things from this month. But it was testing my faith as I received rejections and rejections. Going to PSD for numerous times till the HR knows me is not exactly a very good thing if I was known as the guy who keeps coming for interviews.
November
This is a month of breakthroughs. Finally a job offer from somewhere I least expected – MOH. And I took it. Even as I type this post, I can’t help but see the marvel of how God led me to this job. In any case, the whole story is chronicled lah, so just take a look at the other post. I also went to KL for the GC. I must admit that I learned a lot of things there. I saw a friend who was a non-believer when I first met him at Redang and now he was serving as a photographer in the church. I met old friends from different Hope churches, but it was a pity that friends from HK were not there. It was to be a retreat for myself as I prepared myself to start work in the month of December.
December
Officially started my first full time work in the beginning after my return from KL. I must say that it was quite an eye-opener as I realized that I could fit straight in into the culture of my new workplace. My ADs were joking that they hired the person and that they were actually looking out for the right person to fit into the ‘nonsense’ culture of the division… oh well… In any case, work is still slow after one month but I have the feeling that it is going to pick up. In church wise, we also see a lot of fruits and converts in the services that led on to service. Particularly, there was this girl whom I introduced to the NUS group. I was quite surprised that she came for our service after that and received Christ in the service. I was also quite heartened to see new believers in my cg. Again, this is one lesson that our labour in the Lord is not in vain. Also the first time that I was ushering for a mega service. I must testify that it was not easy wearing a comm set running around Suntec Convention Hall, and it was not easy floor managing a service of around 2800 people.
As I enter the year 2010, I think it is also hind time to look back at what God has done in my life over the past 2009. I have chronicled the journey but I would like to highlight some key themes in my life, with some references to my 2009 resolutions.
I would first like to highlight that 2009 can be divided via two very painful experiences: a wisdom tooth extraction in April and a wisdom tooth extraction sometime in November. This actually looks quite stupid but I realized that it did make sense. Because the first one marked my transition from university life to job searching phase and the second one marked the transition from job search to job acceptance and starting work.
Over the past one year, I can certainly say that God taught me a couple of lessons. The first one, which was the most important of it all, is seeing beyond the physical and seeing into the unseen. I have blogged extensively on this one in March. This is one lesson that served to prepare me for the trials that I had to endure for the rest of the year. Another lesson was about His timing. Weikai, Dashun and other people showed me that God has His own timing in things, and sometimes, while we facilitate processes, God is the one who makes the seeds grow. The third lesson is how important His words are in the light of our spiritual growth. This is important as I read how pastors gave convoluted arguments about certain issues without looking at the bible in its entire context. I have seen how leaders interpreted the word in a warped manner (I am not mincing my words here) but I shall rest my case here.
My service to God has certainly grown over the period between the two extractions despite the fact that I was no longer leading a caregroup. I began to take on the discipleship of more people, becoming more active in service running that included floor managing, driving logistic around, etc. My relationship with people, especially my sheep, also grew quite a lot. I saw more salvations in my cgs than I ever saw in my entire 4 years in NUS. I became a more competent thinker in theology and other biblical issues. 2009 was certainly a fruitful year spiritually for me.
Now looking back in 2009, in terms of resolutions, the two resolutions that I have set had come to past. They are namely growing in ministry and growing to know my cg. While I have changed cg for 4 times in the year, but I think I have built a lot of new relationships around also. So before I move on to my resolutions this year, let’s just make clear why I set resolutions.
Setting goals and making plans is an important facet to a fruitful life. Come to think about it, a lot of the characters in the Bible, such as Jospeh and Jesus, made plans for themselves with the guidance and input of God. And they were fruitful. Take Jesus for example, when He started His ministry, I am quite sure that He knew He only had only three years and a half to train up a group of disciples to start up His church and therefore, He had to plan and set up different milestones. Notice that His teachings got more direct towards the end…
And under this context, I would definitely want to set up tangible and achievable goals, under the umbrella of a longer term 5 years plan. I already have my own 5 years plan, although it is still in a rough stage and not very specific as yet, together with my own mission statement in life. I would argue that this is a first important step, as Christ believers, to set up viable goals and resolutions for the year. At the end of the day, it should not just be a futile exercise when we just do it for fun. Many people would have found themselves failing in their goal setting because they dun have their own mission statement, which would help them define their life direction, and they dun have their own long term plan for their lives, which resolutions would become the medium term goals towards a longer term plan. Moreover, sometimes, we dun take time to think and reflect and connect the dots to see clearly where God is leading us towards. This poses a further problem in us setting goals for the new year.
So what would be my resolutions be this year?
1. Continue to serve God in greater capacity. Currently I am taking on 3 sheep officially and supporting my CL in leading the cg. I hope that I am able to take on more pastoral role this year. And I think I have enough rest from CLship anyway. I also hope to take on more sheep in the process and play more part in doing male discipleship in the YG group, as well as the NUS group, if there is a need. I would also hope to serve in more ministries. I dun think I want to leave the ushering ministry yet, but I am also involved in logistic already. I hope that I can improve on my guitaring skill to be able to play on stage for praise and worship.
2. Grow in skills and knowledge. My aim currently is to finish two new books every month and also to up my own guitaring skills. There are also other skills that I will hope to upgrade, such my theological knowledge, my reasoning skills, and my evangelism. Addition to that, I would hope to up my own professional knowledge in work so that I can become more useful in my workplace.
3. The Christian in the workplace. I hope that I will be able to shine for God in my workplace. This includes being able to churn out good quality work on time, showing integrity in my work, and building strong and biblical relationships with my colleagues and bosses. I hope that I can achieve that this year, or at least see some result out of it.
That's all for now. I will continue to blog.
January
I have not much memory about January, except that it was a month when I thought there was increasing dynamics in the cg, with the latest addition in the cg. I also saw the death of an acquaintance whom I serve with in the ALIVE programme. If you remember, he passed away as a result of the relapse of his cancer. It was sad, and it prompted me to send in a lot of emo emails to my cg and reflect a lot about life and spreading the word also. This month also marked the beginning of the end of my years in NUS and I also began to think about what am I going to do with my life after that. It prompted a lot of hard questioning of myself, and also prompted me to think much more about what I was going to do in my own ministry. It was still along the same line as what I wrote on 1 Jan 2009. We also saw the beginning of our very own Uni-YA service. I also rose up to lead my own team of ushers as a floor manager. There was also the highly anticipated YG conference, which I am currently planning for.
February
Surprisingly, reflection did not stop in the month of February. Work was also piling up, and I was getting hyped up for my research with my thesis. There was also the planning for the new batch of DCLTP. I was also getting prepared for all sorts of things that I thought were going to happen. In particular, I think I received revelations from the word of God that I thought were just plain obvious. Just to recap a bit here, it was about the opening of our spiritual eyes to see the unseen and what God is doing in our lives beyond the physical realm. It did apply a lot to me as I began to prepare for the time of transition ahead. But at this point, little did I know what was to come was to be one of the most trying times.
March
Saw the first suicide of my life. Seriously the first suicide. To recap a bit, someone jumped off and landed right outside my room window. What a way to start a day!!! I was slightly traumatized, for the fact that that was the thing that woke me up that morning, instead of my trusty alarm clock. Again, a lot transpired during this month as I received the news about the formation of the SMU group. This means preparing my caregroup for the changes. It was a difficult task for me, particularly since the caregroup had grown quite close over the past few months. There was also the DCLTP camp. This is one camp that I missed the previous year but was tasked to organize in 2009. Ironically speaking, there were actually calls for me to ‘repeat’ the DCLTP during the camp. I told them I dun mind, just that I was involved in the planning and I already knew what to expect, so that sort of defeat the purpose. And I conducted the first turnout in my life. Interesting experience I must say. The DCLTP saw more potential CLs graduating and passing through the pipeline as the Uni-YA’s core team.
April
This was a hectic month because my thesis was due that month, and not to say that I was pre-occupied with a lot of projects that were due. It was also the official formation of the SMU group. To me, it just means that I was left with 5 girls in the caregroup. I remembered one of my classmates (who is actually Guan’s cousin) came and ask me why my cg consists of all girls and whether I am ok with that. I actually replied that these sisters should be privileged that I am leading them. And till this day, I still believe so. Haha. I also got to know that I will be moving over to YG and I will be taking charge of one of the transitional cgs. I believe it was also around this period that I was inducted into the core team of the BLM. Towards the end of the month, I also had my first ever wisdom tooth extraction. It was painful and I thought I never wanted to have one again… I ended my exam at the end of the month also, after my last two papers ever in NUS. I remembered going for unit that day and telling the unit, “Exams? What is exam?”
May
May was quite happening and a spiritually reviving month. Firstly, there was my first transition to the YG in a transitional cg. Then there was the Uni-YA camp. I think that is one interesting camp because there was little teaching and a lot of workshops to attend. I thought that the place was good, but the teaching area was not that conducive… but then again, what’s new? After the camp, I had the opportunity to fly to Kuching again… This time not for field trip but a real spiritual trip to the leadership conference, the last ever for the Hope movement. I was very happy to be back at Kuching again, and I think I might want to go back there just for the fun of it next year or so. I felt that this conference clarified a lot of things for me, especially after a lot of food for thoughts from the Uni-YA camp also. The transition makes me think about how best I can serve in my new ministry and how can I best contribute, as well as what I can do for a living that will not compromise my ministry in church. Oh yeah, I also started attending RT. Not fun at all…
June
This month I got officially restructured into a YG cg under Jan and we began to plan for the bazaar with Hope Centre. This is also the first time in my spiritual life that I found that I dun need to get myself involved in Matric. It’s really some changes that I have to get used to. Other than a few interviews, including a fling with MFA, this is quite a quiet month, getting to know my new cg, which comprised of people whom I dun really know that well, which was quite good and exciting for me. I thought I can serve in this cg for long…
July
This month, we had the bazaar. And more amazingly, we saw a new brother in our cg coming to know Christ. His name is Dashun, who reminded me of Ken and Weikai as the most faithful non-believer joining us. Unfortunately for him, his family encountered some problem after his conversion and he has been finding it difficult to join us after that. Yet, it was quite amazing to see his conversion somewhere out of the blue one night when we were preparing for the bazaar. I also had my convocation that month, which saw everyone coming, other than my old NUS A1 people… Kinda sad to think about it. We also saw Weikai becoming more receptive to the gospel and me and Claramae began to go full steam ahead to connect with him and try to help him with all his doubts.
August
More interviews coming in, but there was no positive replies. There was the two ESS, which I found myself serving in one of them, as an actor on stage. I thought it was quite fun acting on stage, and getting to do all sort of things that I never thought I will be doing. On that fateful ESS, Weikai received Christ!!! It was a stunning development for me, but it was not unexpected. I remembered sitting at the back of the auditorium after the service waiting for Claramae and him and Michelle. Then I sensed that the time was near and I walked down. It was the right timing. He had made the decision and it was the time to pray with him. I couldn’t contain the excitement. This experience taught me an important lesson. Nothing we have done in the Lord will be in vain and it will just be in God’s timing. This month also saw Elvis officially joining us in the service; he eventually became my intellectual buddy cum sheep. There was also the first Hope GC which was held here in Singapore. I need to admit that this GC was a bit less happening than the ones I have attended but the teachings made me wanted to go for the next one which would be held in KL in November.
September
More interviews coming in and I think I got the job offer from Tencube. The whole story has been chronicled in one of my previous blog post. I was also forced to think about a lot of theological issues during this period, because of the seminars and books I have read. It helped to sharpen my level of thinking and I began to see a lot of things in new light as well. Consequently, I think I also began to feel a discontentment on the state of bible knowledge within the church community as well. It is something that I felt very strongly since then and I found myself scrutinizing every verses as people taught the word of God in service or in cg.
October
Quiet month. Other than a lot of interviews from the civil service, I dun really remember a lot of things from this month. But it was testing my faith as I received rejections and rejections. Going to PSD for numerous times till the HR knows me is not exactly a very good thing if I was known as the guy who keeps coming for interviews.
November
This is a month of breakthroughs. Finally a job offer from somewhere I least expected – MOH. And I took it. Even as I type this post, I can’t help but see the marvel of how God led me to this job. In any case, the whole story is chronicled lah, so just take a look at the other post. I also went to KL for the GC. I must admit that I learned a lot of things there. I saw a friend who was a non-believer when I first met him at Redang and now he was serving as a photographer in the church. I met old friends from different Hope churches, but it was a pity that friends from HK were not there. It was to be a retreat for myself as I prepared myself to start work in the month of December.
December
Officially started my first full time work in the beginning after my return from KL. I must say that it was quite an eye-opener as I realized that I could fit straight in into the culture of my new workplace. My ADs were joking that they hired the person and that they were actually looking out for the right person to fit into the ‘nonsense’ culture of the division… oh well… In any case, work is still slow after one month but I have the feeling that it is going to pick up. In church wise, we also see a lot of fruits and converts in the services that led on to service. Particularly, there was this girl whom I introduced to the NUS group. I was quite surprised that she came for our service after that and received Christ in the service. I was also quite heartened to see new believers in my cg. Again, this is one lesson that our labour in the Lord is not in vain. Also the first time that I was ushering for a mega service. I must testify that it was not easy wearing a comm set running around Suntec Convention Hall, and it was not easy floor managing a service of around 2800 people.
As I enter the year 2010, I think it is also hind time to look back at what God has done in my life over the past 2009. I have chronicled the journey but I would like to highlight some key themes in my life, with some references to my 2009 resolutions.
I would first like to highlight that 2009 can be divided via two very painful experiences: a wisdom tooth extraction in April and a wisdom tooth extraction sometime in November. This actually looks quite stupid but I realized that it did make sense. Because the first one marked my transition from university life to job searching phase and the second one marked the transition from job search to job acceptance and starting work.
Over the past one year, I can certainly say that God taught me a couple of lessons. The first one, which was the most important of it all, is seeing beyond the physical and seeing into the unseen. I have blogged extensively on this one in March. This is one lesson that served to prepare me for the trials that I had to endure for the rest of the year. Another lesson was about His timing. Weikai, Dashun and other people showed me that God has His own timing in things, and sometimes, while we facilitate processes, God is the one who makes the seeds grow. The third lesson is how important His words are in the light of our spiritual growth. This is important as I read how pastors gave convoluted arguments about certain issues without looking at the bible in its entire context. I have seen how leaders interpreted the word in a warped manner (I am not mincing my words here) but I shall rest my case here.
My service to God has certainly grown over the period between the two extractions despite the fact that I was no longer leading a caregroup. I began to take on the discipleship of more people, becoming more active in service running that included floor managing, driving logistic around, etc. My relationship with people, especially my sheep, also grew quite a lot. I saw more salvations in my cgs than I ever saw in my entire 4 years in NUS. I became a more competent thinker in theology and other biblical issues. 2009 was certainly a fruitful year spiritually for me.
Now looking back in 2009, in terms of resolutions, the two resolutions that I have set had come to past. They are namely growing in ministry and growing to know my cg. While I have changed cg for 4 times in the year, but I think I have built a lot of new relationships around also. So before I move on to my resolutions this year, let’s just make clear why I set resolutions.
Setting goals and making plans is an important facet to a fruitful life. Come to think about it, a lot of the characters in the Bible, such as Jospeh and Jesus, made plans for themselves with the guidance and input of God. And they were fruitful. Take Jesus for example, when He started His ministry, I am quite sure that He knew He only had only three years and a half to train up a group of disciples to start up His church and therefore, He had to plan and set up different milestones. Notice that His teachings got more direct towards the end…
And under this context, I would definitely want to set up tangible and achievable goals, under the umbrella of a longer term 5 years plan. I already have my own 5 years plan, although it is still in a rough stage and not very specific as yet, together with my own mission statement in life. I would argue that this is a first important step, as Christ believers, to set up viable goals and resolutions for the year. At the end of the day, it should not just be a futile exercise when we just do it for fun. Many people would have found themselves failing in their goal setting because they dun have their own mission statement, which would help them define their life direction, and they dun have their own long term plan for their lives, which resolutions would become the medium term goals towards a longer term plan. Moreover, sometimes, we dun take time to think and reflect and connect the dots to see clearly where God is leading us towards. This poses a further problem in us setting goals for the new year.
So what would be my resolutions be this year?
1. Continue to serve God in greater capacity. Currently I am taking on 3 sheep officially and supporting my CL in leading the cg. I hope that I am able to take on more pastoral role this year. And I think I have enough rest from CLship anyway. I also hope to take on more sheep in the process and play more part in doing male discipleship in the YG group, as well as the NUS group, if there is a need. I would also hope to serve in more ministries. I dun think I want to leave the ushering ministry yet, but I am also involved in logistic already. I hope that I can improve on my guitaring skill to be able to play on stage for praise and worship.
2. Grow in skills and knowledge. My aim currently is to finish two new books every month and also to up my own guitaring skills. There are also other skills that I will hope to upgrade, such my theological knowledge, my reasoning skills, and my evangelism. Addition to that, I would hope to up my own professional knowledge in work so that I can become more useful in my workplace.
3. The Christian in the workplace. I hope that I will be able to shine for God in my workplace. This includes being able to churn out good quality work on time, showing integrity in my work, and building strong and biblical relationships with my colleagues and bosses. I hope that I can achieve that this year, or at least see some result out of it.
That's all for now. I will continue to blog.
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