Rethinking relationship
Recent events have prompted me to think more about relationships with the opposite genders, aka BGR. For those who know me, I am not planning to go into a romantic relationship yet, at least not in the next 5 years. This is an area that I am leaving to God to settle for me. And yeah, I do have some criteria that I am looking for, but that's for another day.
As I reflect on different issues and stuff, I realise that people can use thousand and one reasons to justify their relationship, but as believers, there is one reason that can never stand. I was reminded of one passage in the bible, and perhaps it's an obscure passage that little would bother to look at it when it comes to relationship.
There is something peculiar about this passage. The question remains, why did Esau's action cause grief to Issac and Rebekah? To understand the situation, one needs to understand the context that the family is a family who was Yahweh's worshippers in a land of pagan, where pagan worship was prevalent with the people living there. There was a reason why Abraham adamantly wanted Issac's bride to come from his own hometown, instead of getting one in the land of Canaan. Indeed, I have no doubt that Abraham could have no lack of choices for Issac if he chose to find one in Canaan. This situation is not a once-off event. In fact we see this again in another scenario:
Does it come to us a surprise that when Solomon married women from different value systems as his, he was led astray? But I would say that he was already on the way astray. Note in both Esau and Solomon, God was not involved in the process, and in Solomon's case, he went for the women just because he 'loved' them and therefore allowed other people to bring him astray. As I would say, he stopped thinking with his big head and started thinking with the other head (sorry for the crudeness here).
I have friends outside who keep on telling me that a relationship between a Christian and non-Christian can work. Yeah, if both parties decide to ignore what each side is doing and the Christian isn't too concerned about sinning against God while maintaining the appearance of serving Him, then maybe it can work, on the surface. They can have a successful relationship. It had never been mentioned in the two examples that I have quoted that the couples did not do well in their relationships. But that missed the point. The point was that Esau and Solomon dishonoured God when they married women who dun worship Yahweh. No wonder the bible further said:
Pharisitic (pharisee - tic) as I sound, and I admit I may be veering towards that side, I simply cannot stand it I hear believers going out with non-believers. Simply put it, what are they trying to do? One of the shittiest reason that I can hear is that they hope to bring the other party to know Christ... yeah right... When passion overrules, anything can be justified. My point is that when a believer starts off a relationship with a non-believer, God is dishonored in the process. By relationship, it may not even be physical in nature; it can be emotional in nature. I would question in such a relationship, is there any need for us to listen to God what He says about the relationship when God is already quite clear about it? Simply also put it, it comes to the question: are we gratifying our own desire? If we are not obedient already to His written word, what makes us think that we will be obedient if He really speaks to us?
To put it in short, Esau and Solomon failed in a few areas: accountability, submission, obedience, self-control, patience, and most importantly of all, love.
As I reflect on different issues and stuff, I realise that people can use thousand and one reasons to justify their relationship, but as believers, there is one reason that can never stand. I was reminded of one passage in the bible, and perhaps it's an obscure passage that little would bother to look at it when it comes to relationship.
When Esau was forty years old, he married Judith daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and also Basemath daughter of Elon the Hittite. They were a source of grief to Isaac and Rebekah. - Genesis 26:34-35
There is something peculiar about this passage. The question remains, why did Esau's action cause grief to Issac and Rebekah? To understand the situation, one needs to understand the context that the family is a family who was Yahweh's worshippers in a land of pagan, where pagan worship was prevalent with the people living there. There was a reason why Abraham adamantly wanted Issac's bride to come from his own hometown, instead of getting one in the land of Canaan. Indeed, I have no doubt that Abraham could have no lack of choices for Issac if he chose to find one in Canaan. This situation is not a once-off event. In fact we see this again in another scenario:
King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh's daughter—Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites. They were from nations about which the LORD had told the Israelites, "You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods." Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love. He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray. As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the LORD his God, as the heart of David his father had been. He followed Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and Molech [a] the detestable god of the Ammonites. So Solomon did evil in the eyes of the LORD; he did not follow the LORD completely, as David his father had done.
On a hill east of Jerusalem, Solomon built a high place for Chemosh the detestable god of Moab, and for Molech the detestable god of the Ammonites. He did the same for all his foreign wives, who burned incense and offered sacrifices to their gods.
The LORD became angry with Solomon because his heart had turned away from the LORD, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice. Although he had forbidden Solomon to follow other gods, Solomon did not keep the LORD's command. - 2 Kings 11:1-9
Does it come to us a surprise that when Solomon married women from different value systems as his, he was led astray? But I would say that he was already on the way astray. Note in both Esau and Solomon, God was not involved in the process, and in Solomon's case, he went for the women just because he 'loved' them and therefore allowed other people to bring him astray. As I would say, he stopped thinking with his big head and started thinking with the other head (sorry for the crudeness here).
I have friends outside who keep on telling me that a relationship between a Christian and non-Christian can work. Yeah, if both parties decide to ignore what each side is doing and the Christian isn't too concerned about sinning against God while maintaining the appearance of serving Him, then maybe it can work, on the surface. They can have a successful relationship. It had never been mentioned in the two examples that I have quoted that the couples did not do well in their relationships. But that missed the point. The point was that Esau and Solomon dishonoured God when they married women who dun worship Yahweh. No wonder the bible further said:
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? - 2 Corinthians 6:14
Pharisitic (pharisee - tic) as I sound, and I admit I may be veering towards that side, I simply cannot stand it I hear believers going out with non-believers. Simply put it, what are they trying to do? One of the shittiest reason that I can hear is that they hope to bring the other party to know Christ... yeah right... When passion overrules, anything can be justified. My point is that when a believer starts off a relationship with a non-believer, God is dishonored in the process. By relationship, it may not even be physical in nature; it can be emotional in nature. I would question in such a relationship, is there any need for us to listen to God what He says about the relationship when God is already quite clear about it? Simply also put it, it comes to the question: are we gratifying our own desire? If we are not obedient already to His written word, what makes us think that we will be obedient if He really speaks to us?
To put it in short, Esau and Solomon failed in a few areas: accountability, submission, obedience, self-control, patience, and most importantly of all, love.
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