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England football jokes

LONDON - ENGLAND'S humiliating World Cup exit has unleashed a barrage of jokes on the Internet, where the team's highly-paid stars as well as coach Fabio Capello are fun targets.

Here are five of the best:

- Osama bin Laden has just released a new TV message to prove he is still alive. He said England's performance on Saturday was completely appalling.
British intelligence have dismissed the claim, stating that the message could have been recorded anytime in the last 44 years.

- Q: What's the difference between England goalkeeper Rob Green's spill and BP's spill?
A: Robert Green has got a cap for his.

- Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping.
He stopped and asked, 'Can you manage dear?'
To which the old lady replied: 'No way. You got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to sort it out.'

- Illusionist David Blaine is heartbroken that the record he got for doing nothing in a box for 42 days has just been beaten by Wayne Rooney.

- England headed home from the World Cup after state-of-the-art video technology showed the ball crossing their goal line many, many times. -- AFP

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