Being a worshipper

Last Saturday was my first time serving as a guitarist on stage. I played the electric guitar for praise and acoustic guitar for worship. Surprisingly, I was not as nervous as I thought I would be, although I did make as much mistakes as I knew I would. I thoroughly enjoyed myself on stage and I realised that it was easy for myself to be carried away in the midst of playing.

But a few thoughts about playing in the worship team. It is indeed a privilege to play on stage for God as a worship musician. There are several layers to this. Firstly, stating the obvious, one must prepare himself to be competent enough to play on stage. This is one criteria that a lot of people meet but most people dun. How many times have we seen people learning guitar and then find themselves giving up and not following through with what they have learned? I have seen people admiring the skills of other people and yet never taking steps to improve themselves. Time may be the issue, but if it takes ten years, it takes ten years. As early as two years back, I have been wondering to myself, when can I serve on stage as a worship musician? I decided to wait and continue to be faithful to what God has given me: namely my sheep, cg and the usher team, while in the meantime improving my own fundamentals by learning new stuff, and learning the electric guitar. I think the past five years of preparation is paying its dividend. The lesson here? Prepare thyself to be competent enough to serve in any area. While God equips the called, it does not mean we sit down there and slack. We prepare ourselves. Similarly, I found myself preparing for care leadership the moment I stepped down from it a year ago, cos I knew that I will be called one day to serve as a care leader again. 

The second layer is that it takes a lot of maturity to be playing on stage as a worship musician. I used to ask myself, how difficult can it be? But it can be humbling at times, and it takes certain maturity to be humbled. As a new musician, I need to be constantly mindful that I am 'not there' yet and the people playing alongside are probably more experienced than me in terms of playing as a band. I need to stand guided by corrections (as my AD always say). And this maturity probably means that a frequently broken heart towards God. A heart that is frequently broken by God's presence and revelations.

I live in the high and holy places,
but also with the low-spirited, the spirit-crushed,

And what I do is put new spirit in them,
get them up and on their feet again.
- Isa 57:15 (The Message)

That brings me to the third layer. With a maturity of a contrite heart, there comes the time when God will meet with the worshipper and worshipper will experience God in a manner that he never knows. I am exaggerating a bit here, but let me give an illustration. I probably have told this story for quite a number of times. I first started serving as an usher sometime in May 2006. It was a service that was gender-focused. All the ushers serving that day were male. I remember Joe was the floor manager then, Cedric was the team leader, Edwin was serving together. And I thought I would just go on and serve and do my part as an usher. Sometime during PnW, something struck me. I saw the sight of the millenium. The sight of a congregation worshipping God. It was grand. It was a sight of wonder. I went inside my heart 'wow'! Years later, Jansen was to tell me the same thing after he served for one of the church prayer meetings at Suntec. The usher, being a worshipper, experienced God in a manner he would never have as a just a participant in the congregation. Likewise, as a worship musician, the feeling was even more intense. Every step leading up to the preparation, from the first time I listened to the music I will be playing, to the first rehearsal, to the heart preparation time before the service prep, to the actual PnW during service, it was the sense of wonder. It was 'wow'. When I was playing, I was actually worshipping, not merely playing.

Eventually it comes back to who we are as a worshipper of God. I always like what Paul said in Romans about worship:
 
And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.
- Rom 12:1 (NLT)

Indeed, the true way to worship Him is to first give Him our body as a sacrifice, then the rest will come. That is the heart of worship. As the song goes:

I give You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
To the way things appear
You're looking into my heart
- "The Heart of Worship" by Matt Redman

And yes, He searches much deeper within, He demands more than a song, more than our playing of the guitar, more than the serving of the people. The submission of our everything to God, which includes our heart, is the first step towards a true worship. Without that, it does not really matter if I am a worship musician on stage, or if I am a floor manager, or if I am a CL leading a growing cg.

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