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These are excuse notes from parents (with their original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country:

- My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

- Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

- Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

- Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

- Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the runs. [words in ()’s were crossed out.]

- Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

- Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.

- I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don’t know what size she wears.

- Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

- Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

- My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

- Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

- Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

- Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

- Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.

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