Issac and Rebekah
Helping our believers and members to form and develop lifelong relationship is part and parcel of what the church does at a macro level to the working adults in the community. A few thoughts from where I come from and what I have posted over the past few years on such lifelong relationships before I carry on. I still believe that our priority as a Christ follower is to serve and worship Him. This applies to the students in the universities and those who are still studying. Ultimately, as students, one ought to make full use of his free time to explore ways on how he can serve God in the local church and help to bring His Kingdom to his campus. It is a great time to be single. In fact, Paul commented on singleness as such:
However, that being said, it is again not wrong to like someone of the opposite gender. The challenge is how to manage our own feeling and exercise self-control in the entire affair and not be overtaken by our passion.
Even as I think about managing and developing lifelong relationship, an episode in the bible began to fascinate me a lot, particularly because the principles demonstrated and preached by many pastors and preachers are so relevant. Being an amateur myself and after contemplating and listening and reading about what others interpret, I think I hope to unpack some of these principles myself in this post, to clear my own thoughts in the same time.
The episode happened after the passing on of Sarah. It happened in the whole entire chapter of Genesis 24 which can be found below (I didn't want to quote the entire chapter but decided to do so so that I dun have switch screen to quote the reference):
This seems counter-intuitive in today's culture. One may ask, who am I, someone who has zil experience in relationship knows about this? Well, simply put it, when you see the kind of damage one can do when you secretly ROM behind your family's back, you begin to realise that at the most fundamental level, it may just be between you and your wife, but its impact extend beyond your little world. At the end of the day, we need to find people who are wiser than us and whom we know can be trusted, to keep us accountable and to guide the relationship. The decision to involve Eliezer in this case is a wise one, as we know that in the end, he did rely on God to help him and guide him in his mission, and I think that is important and food for us, as individuals in an individualistic society, to think about. We have to ask ourselves: how do we honor God, honor our family and honor those who are directly involved in guiding our lives as we build and develop lifelong relationship?
The second observation we can make out from this episode comes from the fact that Abraham was very adamant in insisting that Eliezer finds Issac's wife from his hometown and does not want Issac to marry a Canaanite woman. Why? I believe this lies in one of the most important and fundamental principles in a Christian relationship. Abraham is a worshipper of Yahweh, and he wants someone who is spiritually compatible to the faith of the family to marry Issac. The idea is to have no foreign pagan influence to pollute Issac's faith. I think I posted this before in a post not long ago about Solomon and Esau. It is even more profoundly stated in the NT when Paul exhorted the Corinthians not to be equally yoked with non-believers.
This may sound a bit harsh, but it is true as stated in the bible. I have heard stories that tell me that non-believers and believers are married happily. Yeah, happily but at what cost? For our info, we can happily serve God without knowing that we have grieved Him in some of the decisions we have made in our lives. Last night in cg, we went through Hosea, and I commented that what Hosea went through was a direct reflection of God's broken-heart when Israel turned away from Him. A direct disobedience is a decision made to turn away from Him. But more importantly, the decision made to go out with a non-believer serves to send a wrong signal to believers and non-believers alike. The friend who told me about those stories now believes that religion is not a major factor in selecting life partners. And one wonders, how much will we compromise in the Kingdom of God when we make such a decision?
A third principle that emerged from the episode is that Abraham and Eliezer sort of set certain criteria in the kind of woman they were looking for. Abraham's criteria was simple: from his hometown, daughter of his relatives (which implies spiritual compatibility with Issac), and willing to move over to Canaan to live with Issac (important cos Canaan was the promised land). Eliezer set the criteria up by a notch (and you will notice that he is wise enough to set such a criteria): a girl who is kind enough to offer him and his ten camels a drink. And they commit these criteria to God. At the end of the day, Eliezer, with Abraham and his own criteria, was able to commit these criteria and trust God in prayer.
I have a set of criteria. Six non-negotiable ones and a couple of criteria which I fantasize on but understood that I might never find a girl so perfect. It's not like I am shopping for grocery and it is not a grocery list but it is a list for myself to know what is the kind of girl whom I am looking for. The list serves to check my own passion and emotion, especially I have to admit that there are a lot of pretty and nice girls outside of my own church and outside of the Kingdom of God. It is so easy to be tempted in the world when you get to know so many impressive ladies around (who unfortunately do not know God).
Fourth principle that I observed in this episode is the prevalence of prayer and seeking God. Abraham was clear what he wanted. Eliezer prayed and asked for God's favor. When Eliezer brought Rebekah back to Caanan, Issac was out there meditating. This brings in the key question in any relationship: is it one that earnestly seeks God and earnestly being built with prayer? Do we allow God to come into the picture, or do we retreat ourselves into our own tiny little world and enjoy our own company with one another?
Fifth principle emerging is the preparedness of the bride and the groom towards one another. And we have to notice that they were preparing themselves for the relationship even without knowing who their opposite counterpart was. And they would already have been preparing themselves even before knowing that they will be married one day. How? For Rebekah, the answer to Eliezer's prayer demonstrated her qualities. She showed a form of kindness that I am quite sure was rare among the girls at that time (if not it would have been an easy fleece for Eliezer). A camel drinks 100-150 liters in one go... which makes 1000 to 1500 liters for ten camels. Does that demonstrate some sort of kindness, especially to a total stranger, and he didn't even ask her to give his camels drink! The direct application for us in this is simple. RZ once commented to girls, if guys who are wooing girls are not even showing kindness at the stage of courtship, they ought to watch out for these guys as it is at courtship that one shows the most kindness. The same applies for the converse. In Rebekah, we see a girl who is kind at heart and loving in nature.
Similarly in Issac, we see a man who seeked God. A man who was out there meditating while waiting for Eliezer to bring back his bride. One might wonder what was he meditating about, but the bible use of meditation has always got to do with the word of God and prayer. He was unknowingly preparing himself for a godly marriage by setting a habit to seek God at a regular basis. I thought that is quite something for us to think about. Especially for guys, when all we can think about is the girl of our dream, we don't really meditate as much on God than the girls. It is natural, but can we discipline ourselves to meditate more on God and less on other things that serve to distract us? In short, Issac and Rebekah were really preparing themselves (knowingly or unknowingly) for a godly communion with one another.
The sixth principle I wish to unpack, is that Eliezer did not straight away confirm Rebekah as the one but he observed and spoke to her parents. It was only when Laban and Bethuel gave the consent that he confirmed that it was God's providence. The key thing here, we are always too fast to declare that a certain girl is someone whom God has provided, without doing much more observation and confirmation, which tied back to our first point. Even Rebekah allowed her family to have a say before making the final decision to go ahead. That is why, I think, we always divide the process into different stages, to allow us to progress our relationship in a certain manner so that we will have ample opportunities to grow our friendship and observe the opposite parties, thus giving us enough materials to make a wise and informed decision. And often, it does not occur between the couple but also with the people who are overseeing the couples.
Seventh principle is this: that the ultimate decision lies with the couple, not with the family or whoever is entrusted to oversee the couple. One might observe that Rebekah was given the choice to go or to delay the journey by a few days. She chose and her family went along with it. We do not see this that frequently, but I think in Hope church YG, myself inclusive, leaders will need to play a more facilitative role than a commanding role. The question is how do we facilitate such that the couple makes good and godly wise informed decisions? Notice that ultimately, the choice has to lie with the couple and not with the overseers. We can challenge, but should never dictate.
[Afternote] Eighth, there is this issue of purity which is not immediately obvious but careful observer will be able to pick up upon careful reading. Why do you think the bible mentioned that Rebekah was a young virgin and as if it was not enough, emphasized that she has not laid with any man? It is to emphasize her purity. This is important. I once read that we have a tendency to expect purity from our partner, but we, on our part, dun normally raise an eyebrow when we compromise our own purity. There is this story about an unfaithful Italian truck driver who found out that his wife was prostituting whenever he was out there delivering his goods and almost killed her as a result.
It sounds strange and foreign indeed in a generation when sex before marriage is ok and living together as an unmarried couple is a trial towards marriage without the trappings of a marriage. It sounds strange in a society where abortion is readily available and contraceptives were readily given and advertised, where televisions and media glorify the very act that God created for the benefit and enjoyment of man and woman in a marriage setting. But tell me, which guy on earth, in his right frame of mind, will not mind a woman who has been infidel and unfaithful and careless with her purity? Even the man with the best intention will be shocked at the initial stage upon hearing that. Which woman on earth, in her right frame of mind, will want her guy to go around sleeping with other women?
I guess, given the amount of battery I have left, I will stop here for now. I still think that this is a fascinating passage to look at and I will want to believe that I have only digged the surface of the passage. Other interesting passage include Ruth and Boaz (the ruthless man before Ruth).
Till then, God bless
I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord - 1 Cor 7:32A single man, especially during the time of study, is in the position to concentrate on the affairs of the Lord without being distracted by the building of a lifelong relationship with another girl.
However, that being said, it is again not wrong to like someone of the opposite gender. The challenge is how to manage our own feeling and exercise self-control in the entire affair and not be overtaken by our passion.
Even as I think about managing and developing lifelong relationship, an episode in the bible began to fascinate me a lot, particularly because the principles demonstrated and preached by many pastors and preachers are so relevant. Being an amateur myself and after contemplating and listening and reading about what others interpret, I think I hope to unpack some of these principles myself in this post, to clear my own thoughts in the same time.
The episode happened after the passing on of Sarah. It happened in the whole entire chapter of Genesis 24 which can be found below (I didn't want to quote the entire chapter but decided to do so so that I dun have switch screen to quote the reference):
1 Abraham was now old and well advanced in years, and the LORD had blessed him in every way. 2 He said to the chief [a] servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, "Put your hand under my thigh. 3 I want you to swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, 4 but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac."Not in order of importance, the first principle I think I was able to unpack from this passage is that Issac was not the only one involved in the whole entire process. If one would realise, and this is very peculiar when read from the context of our own culture, one would have noticed that Issac was not even involved till the very end of the whole process. In the beginning, Abraham was concerned and decided to involve his trusted servant, who is believed to be Eliezer, the servant who is so trusted that he was to inherit Abraham's wealth should there be no Ishmael or Issac. The consensus from what I have read and heard is this: that no lifelong relationship can be developed in a God-honoring manner without the involvement of trusted people who are able to keep you accountable in the relationship, that it is never a matter of an affair of just two person.
5 The servant asked him, "What if the woman is unwilling to come back with me to this land? Shall I then take your son back to the country you came from?"
6 "Make sure that you do not take my son back there," Abraham said. 7 "The LORD, the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father's household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath, saying, 'To your offspring [b] I will give this land'-he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there. 8 If the woman is unwilling to come back with you, then you will be released from this oath of mine. Only do not take my son back there." 9 So the servant put his hand under the thigh of his master Abraham and swore an oath to him concerning this matter.
10 Then the servant took ten of his master's camels and left, taking with him all kinds of good things from his master. He set out for Aram Naharaim [c] and made his way to the town of Nahor. 11 He had the camels kneel down near the well outside the town; it was toward evening, the time the women go out to draw water.
12 Then he prayed, "O LORD, God of my master Abraham, give me success today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. 13 See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. 14 May it be that when I say to a girl, 'Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,' and she says, 'Drink, and I'll water your camels too'-let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master."
15 Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milcah, who was the wife of Abraham's brother Nahor. 16 The girl was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever lain with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again.
17 The servant hurried to meet her and said, "Please give me a little water from your jar."
18 "Drink, my lord," she said, and quickly lowered the jar to her hands and gave him a drink.
19 After she had given him a drink, she said, "I'll draw water for your camels too, until they have finished drinking." 20 So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, ran back to the well to draw more water, and drew enough for all his camels. 21 Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the LORD had made his journey successful.
22 When the camels had finished drinking, the man took out a gold nose ring weighing a beka [d] and two gold bracelets weighing ten shekels. [e] 23 Then he asked, "Whose daughter are you? Please tell me, is there room in your father's house for us to spend the night?"
24 She answered him, "I am the daughter of Bethuel, the son that Milcah bore to Nahor." 25 And she added, "We have plenty of straw and fodder, as well as room for you to spend the night."
26 Then the man bowed down and worshiped the LORD, 27 saying, "Praise be to the LORD, the God of my master Abraham, who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness to my master. As for me, the LORD has led me on the journey to the house of my master's relatives."
28 The girl ran and told her mother's household about these things. 29 Now Rebekah had a brother named Laban, and he hurried out to the man at the spring. 30 As soon as he had seen the nose ring, and the bracelets on his sister's arms, and had heard Rebekah tell what the man said to her, he went out to the man and found him standing by the camels near the spring. 31 "Come, you who are blessed by the LORD," he said. "Why are you standing out here? I have prepared the house and a place for the camels."
32 So the man went to the house, and the camels were unloaded. Straw and fodder were brought for the camels, and water for him and his men to wash their feet. 33 Then food was set before him, but he said, "I will not eat until I have told you what I have to say."
"Then tell us," Laban said.
34 So he said, "I am Abraham's servant. 35 The LORD has blessed my master abundantly, and he has become wealthy. He has given him sheep and cattle, silver and gold, menservants and maidservants, and camels and donkeys. 36 My master's wife Sarah has borne him a son in her [f] old age, and he has given him everything he owns. 37 And my master made me swear an oath, and said, 'You must not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose land I live, 38 but go to my father's family and to my own clan, and get a wife for my son.'
39 "Then I asked my master, 'What if the woman will not come back with me?'
40 "He replied, 'The LORD, before whom I have walked, will send his angel with you and make your journey a success, so that you can get a wife for my son from my own clan and from my father's family. 41 Then, when you go to my clan, you will be released from my oath even if they refuse to give her to you—you will be released from my oath.'
42 "When I came to the spring today, I said, 'O LORD, God of my master Abraham, if you will, please grant success to the journey on which I have come. 43 See, I am standing beside this spring; if a maiden comes out to draw water and I say to her, "Please let me drink a little water from your jar," 44 and if she says to me, "Drink, and I'll draw water for your camels too," let her be the one the LORD has chosen for my master's son.'
45 "Before I finished praying in my heart, Rebekah came out, with her jar on her shoulder. She went down to the spring and drew water, and I said to her, 'Please give me a drink.'
46 "She quickly lowered her jar from her shoulder and said, 'Drink, and I'll water your camels too.' So I drank, and she watered the camels also.
47 "I asked her, 'Whose daughter are you?'
"She said, 'The daughter of Bethuel son of Nahor, whom Milcah bore to him.'
"Then I put the ring in her nose and the bracelets on her arms, 48 and I bowed down and worshiped the LORD. I praised the LORD, the God of my master Abraham, who had led me on the right road to get the granddaughter of my master's brother for his son. 49 Now if you will show kindness and faithfulness to my master, tell me; and if not, tell me, so I may know which way to turn."
50 Laban and Bethuel answered, "This is from the LORD; we can say nothing to you one way or the other. 51 Here is Rebekah; take her and go, and let her become the wife of your master's son, as the LORD has directed."
52 When Abraham's servant heard what they said, he bowed down to the ground before the LORD. 53 Then the servant brought out gold and silver jewelry and articles of clothing and gave them to Rebekah; he also gave costly gifts to her brother and to her mother. 54 Then he and the men who were with him ate and drank and spent the night there.
When they got up the next morning, he said, "Send me on my way to my master."
55 But her brother and her mother replied, "Let the girl remain with us ten days or so; then you [g] may go."
56 But he said to them, "Do not detain me, now that the LORD has granted success to my journey. Send me on my way so I may go to my master."
57 Then they said, "Let's call the girl and ask her about it." 58 So they called Rebekah and asked her, "Will you go with this man?"
"I will go," she said.
59 So they sent their sister Rebekah on her way, along with her nurse and Abraham's servant and his men. 60 And they blessed Rebekah and said to her,
"Our sister, may you increase
to thousands upon thousands;
may your offspring possess
the gates of their enemies."
61 Then Rebekah and her maids got ready and mounted their camels and went back with the man. So the servant took Rebekah and left.
62 Now Isaac had come from Beer Lahai Roi, for he was living in the Negev. 63 He went out to the field one evening to meditate, [h] and as he looked up, he saw camels approaching. 64 Rebekah also looked up and saw Isaac. She got down from her camel 65 and asked the servant, "Who is that man in the field coming to meet us?"
"He is my master," the servant answered. So she took her veil and covered herself.
66 Then the servant told Isaac all he had done. 67 Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death.
This seems counter-intuitive in today's culture. One may ask, who am I, someone who has zil experience in relationship knows about this? Well, simply put it, when you see the kind of damage one can do when you secretly ROM behind your family's back, you begin to realise that at the most fundamental level, it may just be between you and your wife, but its impact extend beyond your little world. At the end of the day, we need to find people who are wiser than us and whom we know can be trusted, to keep us accountable and to guide the relationship. The decision to involve Eliezer in this case is a wise one, as we know that in the end, he did rely on God to help him and guide him in his mission, and I think that is important and food for us, as individuals in an individualistic society, to think about. We have to ask ourselves: how do we honor God, honor our family and honor those who are directly involved in guiding our lives as we build and develop lifelong relationship?
The second observation we can make out from this episode comes from the fact that Abraham was very adamant in insisting that Eliezer finds Issac's wife from his hometown and does not want Issac to marry a Canaanite woman. Why? I believe this lies in one of the most important and fundamental principles in a Christian relationship. Abraham is a worshipper of Yahweh, and he wants someone who is spiritually compatible to the faith of the family to marry Issac. The idea is to have no foreign pagan influence to pollute Issac's faith. I think I posted this before in a post not long ago about Solomon and Esau. It is even more profoundly stated in the NT when Paul exhorted the Corinthians not to be equally yoked with non-believers.
This may sound a bit harsh, but it is true as stated in the bible. I have heard stories that tell me that non-believers and believers are married happily. Yeah, happily but at what cost? For our info, we can happily serve God without knowing that we have grieved Him in some of the decisions we have made in our lives. Last night in cg, we went through Hosea, and I commented that what Hosea went through was a direct reflection of God's broken-heart when Israel turned away from Him. A direct disobedience is a decision made to turn away from Him. But more importantly, the decision made to go out with a non-believer serves to send a wrong signal to believers and non-believers alike. The friend who told me about those stories now believes that religion is not a major factor in selecting life partners. And one wonders, how much will we compromise in the Kingdom of God when we make such a decision?
A third principle that emerged from the episode is that Abraham and Eliezer sort of set certain criteria in the kind of woman they were looking for. Abraham's criteria was simple: from his hometown, daughter of his relatives (which implies spiritual compatibility with Issac), and willing to move over to Canaan to live with Issac (important cos Canaan was the promised land). Eliezer set the criteria up by a notch (and you will notice that he is wise enough to set such a criteria): a girl who is kind enough to offer him and his ten camels a drink. And they commit these criteria to God. At the end of the day, Eliezer, with Abraham and his own criteria, was able to commit these criteria and trust God in prayer.
I have a set of criteria. Six non-negotiable ones and a couple of criteria which I fantasize on but understood that I might never find a girl so perfect. It's not like I am shopping for grocery and it is not a grocery list but it is a list for myself to know what is the kind of girl whom I am looking for. The list serves to check my own passion and emotion, especially I have to admit that there are a lot of pretty and nice girls outside of my own church and outside of the Kingdom of God. It is so easy to be tempted in the world when you get to know so many impressive ladies around (who unfortunately do not know God).
Fourth principle that I observed in this episode is the prevalence of prayer and seeking God. Abraham was clear what he wanted. Eliezer prayed and asked for God's favor. When Eliezer brought Rebekah back to Caanan, Issac was out there meditating. This brings in the key question in any relationship: is it one that earnestly seeks God and earnestly being built with prayer? Do we allow God to come into the picture, or do we retreat ourselves into our own tiny little world and enjoy our own company with one another?
Fifth principle emerging is the preparedness of the bride and the groom towards one another. And we have to notice that they were preparing themselves for the relationship even without knowing who their opposite counterpart was. And they would already have been preparing themselves even before knowing that they will be married one day. How? For Rebekah, the answer to Eliezer's prayer demonstrated her qualities. She showed a form of kindness that I am quite sure was rare among the girls at that time (if not it would have been an easy fleece for Eliezer). A camel drinks 100-150 liters in one go... which makes 1000 to 1500 liters for ten camels. Does that demonstrate some sort of kindness, especially to a total stranger, and he didn't even ask her to give his camels drink! The direct application for us in this is simple. RZ once commented to girls, if guys who are wooing girls are not even showing kindness at the stage of courtship, they ought to watch out for these guys as it is at courtship that one shows the most kindness. The same applies for the converse. In Rebekah, we see a girl who is kind at heart and loving in nature.
Similarly in Issac, we see a man who seeked God. A man who was out there meditating while waiting for Eliezer to bring back his bride. One might wonder what was he meditating about, but the bible use of meditation has always got to do with the word of God and prayer. He was unknowingly preparing himself for a godly marriage by setting a habit to seek God at a regular basis. I thought that is quite something for us to think about. Especially for guys, when all we can think about is the girl of our dream, we don't really meditate as much on God than the girls. It is natural, but can we discipline ourselves to meditate more on God and less on other things that serve to distract us? In short, Issac and Rebekah were really preparing themselves (knowingly or unknowingly) for a godly communion with one another.
The sixth principle I wish to unpack, is that Eliezer did not straight away confirm Rebekah as the one but he observed and spoke to her parents. It was only when Laban and Bethuel gave the consent that he confirmed that it was God's providence. The key thing here, we are always too fast to declare that a certain girl is someone whom God has provided, without doing much more observation and confirmation, which tied back to our first point. Even Rebekah allowed her family to have a say before making the final decision to go ahead. That is why, I think, we always divide the process into different stages, to allow us to progress our relationship in a certain manner so that we will have ample opportunities to grow our friendship and observe the opposite parties, thus giving us enough materials to make a wise and informed decision. And often, it does not occur between the couple but also with the people who are overseeing the couples.
Seventh principle is this: that the ultimate decision lies with the couple, not with the family or whoever is entrusted to oversee the couple. One might observe that Rebekah was given the choice to go or to delay the journey by a few days. She chose and her family went along with it. We do not see this that frequently, but I think in Hope church YG, myself inclusive, leaders will need to play a more facilitative role than a commanding role. The question is how do we facilitate such that the couple makes good and godly wise informed decisions? Notice that ultimately, the choice has to lie with the couple and not with the overseers. We can challenge, but should never dictate.
[Afternote] Eighth, there is this issue of purity which is not immediately obvious but careful observer will be able to pick up upon careful reading. Why do you think the bible mentioned that Rebekah was a young virgin and as if it was not enough, emphasized that she has not laid with any man? It is to emphasize her purity. This is important. I once read that we have a tendency to expect purity from our partner, but we, on our part, dun normally raise an eyebrow when we compromise our own purity. There is this story about an unfaithful Italian truck driver who found out that his wife was prostituting whenever he was out there delivering his goods and almost killed her as a result.
It sounds strange and foreign indeed in a generation when sex before marriage is ok and living together as an unmarried couple is a trial towards marriage without the trappings of a marriage. It sounds strange in a society where abortion is readily available and contraceptives were readily given and advertised, where televisions and media glorify the very act that God created for the benefit and enjoyment of man and woman in a marriage setting. But tell me, which guy on earth, in his right frame of mind, will not mind a woman who has been infidel and unfaithful and careless with her purity? Even the man with the best intention will be shocked at the initial stage upon hearing that. Which woman on earth, in her right frame of mind, will want her guy to go around sleeping with other women?
I guess, given the amount of battery I have left, I will stop here for now. I still think that this is a fascinating passage to look at and I will want to believe that I have only digged the surface of the passage. Other interesting passage include Ruth and Boaz (the ruthless man before Ruth).
Till then, God bless
After reading through another time... wow, thanks bro, it's good stuff - well, 'cos it's derived from God's Word n a good heart? Haha..
ReplyDeleteInteresting... if you zoom out, it's ultimately about seeking first His kingdom and His _righteousness_... and righteousness is something that includes involving others in the community. Makes great sense. Right with God, and right with men who fear God.
Hmm... just a question tho... or maybe it's a comment: i think while i agree w u tt it's important to set criteria as an act of honouring God, I think it's important to remind our sheep too that it's not the act of setting criteria that will cause the relationship to be spiritual... in its worst case it can degenerate into a spiritualized 'shopping-list'. But it's the heart behind these criteria. I think (if I rmb correctly, you mentioned it alr) that ultimately what your heart's values really are will be reflected in your choice of criteria. (not mental assent, but heart assent.)
I think from personal experience, it's possible for young well-intentioned disciples to set an incredible number of criteria... in the subtle hope that God will bless them with THE ONE since they are so sincere in their intention...
Or they might get too scared to ask the sister they like because he feels so unsure that he is ready. There are some bros who have genuinely good hearts and desire to honour God, but are unsure about their readiness. Why? That's another area I think needs to be considered further.
Just a ten-cent's worth of my thoughts... haha
this I agree with you. i think the question of readiness is one that I constantly ask myself. that is why external inputs from reliable sources are so important.
ReplyDelete