Grateful

Recently I got into a discussion, which seems to be appear more often since I started working, with my mum on giving to the church and family. My mum commented that she brought me up and took care of me and yet I give the same amount to her as to the church, which she said had not done anything. Normally getting into such discussion, most of us will tend not to know how to respond, especially when the discussion pricks into the emotional aspect of the person. The question remains for us as believers, how do we justify our giving to church to our parents in a sensitive and sensible manner?

I think before going into my answers, which I derived after reflecting and praying, we will need to establish certain groundings with respect to the schism between our family and the church. Firstly, as a Christ follower, honoring our family is part of our worship to God, and this is explicitly stated in the bible:

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. - Exodus 20:12

Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.  - 1 Tim 5:8

The position of providing for our family is juxtaposed with the position of an unbeliever and it is indeed the case that as follower of Christ, our family should be our priority and we cannot give senselessly to the church without first ensuring that we can provide for our family.

Then it comes to the issue of giving to the church. Not wanting to go into long detail here, but it is here that the answer to my initial question begins to emerge. The bible says, "Give thanks in all circumstances" and we are exhorted to be grateful to God for what He has given us. Now juxtapose gratefulness to our parents and gratefulness to God. What can we thank our parents for, assuming we all grow up in a normal family? Easy, for providing for our daily needs, giving us a shelter, loving us, ensuring we have education. Now, that's a lot to be grateful for and it is therefore reasonable for me to give an amount out of my monthly salary to my parents. How about God and the church? Has God really done nothing to us?

Explaining to our parents, we can definitely bring forth the argument that He sent His Son to die for our sins and therefore this gives us a reason to be grateful to Him. But as I think such arguments may not convince our parents otherwise. Therefore, as I was thinking, I begin to wonder the limits of our parents' arguments.

Let' see, in terms of food and money and shelter, our parents definitely have a case across that we need to grateful for all these things which they provided us. But certain times, they make it sounds as if it's everything we ever received in life, which I began to wonder if this is really the case. Think with me, if I cross a road without being knocked down by a car, do I thank my parents? If I am overseas and I managed to survive the experience, do I thank my parents... for what exactly? Who do I really give thank to for these experience? If I sit inside an exam hall, and I see a question, which I never come across in my revision and all my tuitions, and I managed to solve the question, who do I give thank for? The only case for my parents to claim credits in these cases is a more indirect one than a direct one. Think about it, if we should (and we jolly well do it) give thanks and be grateful for all the direct things that our parents have given to us, that they have every right to lay credits for these gifts to us, who do we give thanks to for other direct things that we did not really receive from our parents?

My only answer is God. If I cross the road safely, thank God. If I manage to survive a stint in an overseas country, thank God. If I managed to pass an exam, thank God. I might even need to thank God (actually I should) for giving me parents who are able to provide for my basic needs. Now, in explaining to our parents, the case in point is that the money we give back to our family is tantamount to our gratitude to their contribution in our lives and if this is the case, should our giving to God be tantamount to our gratitude to God in His contribution in our lives as well? I am quite sure, at the end of the day, our parents want us to be grateful young punks and be thankful for everyday. After all, if even they go to the temple to give thanks to their deities for whatever reasons, why shouldn't their children do the same to God, in church?

This, therefore, is and will be my case towards my giving to the church (and I hope it is a reasonable and adequate one), and I think it is a good explanation because it gives us an opportunity to share God's goodness with our parents as well.