Today is the wedding of Robert and Melissa. As most would know, Robert is the goofy guy who brought me to know Christ some years back (he has since complained that his current weight is a result of the frequent late night suppers with me back then). Nevertheless, being happy for them, looking at them, I would never have imagined that I would witness the day he gets married. Maybe there are some people in my life whom I would not imagine the day of their marriage. Perhaps it's the surrealism that we were still so young and single in the good old days and then we realise that families are being started and formed as a result of matrimonial union.
Of course, in the midst of helping out with the wedding, there have been conversations about our own matrimonial futures. After all, every wedding we attend is an opportunity for the singles and unmarried to start fantasizing on their big day. It also becomes an opportunity for people to tease one another - today I was the victim....
Yet, as true as it might be that I can start fantasizing on the day of my own wedding, or the day when I propose marriage to whoever is with me at that time, I think I am still very contented to remain single for the time being. I believe a few ingredients are in place here. The most important being God Himself who have to be in the picture. Exactly how, I am still exploring and thinking and learning. However, for me, one thing is very clear, my first priority is the path and destiny that I know God has laid for me, which means that I can like any sisters I want but as long as the sister is not following the same path, it will thus become very difficult for me to go into a lifelong partnership with her.
Of course, I believe that being single comes with its perks. After all, as Paul said, an unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs - how he can please the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:32). The perk being that I can have the time to serve God in whatever capacity that a married couple does not have. But definitely this does not mean I will have more capability but it just means I can have more flexibility in terms of time and space. And being single gives me the space to grow in the Lord and to make decisions in a carefree manner.
Yet I think we tend to miss out one important thing which Paul added in that passage as a qualifier:
Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation that the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. - 1 Corinthians 7:17 (NIV)After all, it's really more important to have a bearing on God's calling than to seek marriage without a sense of direction.
That being said, before I forget, I just want to point out something which I realise in my research about relationships. What happen in most literatures about godly relationships is that they are written and thought through without a consideration or exhorting the readers to consider the compatibility in vision. I may be overgeneralising here, but while I do realise that most of the examples I have read in the literatures (mostly from America) assumes that the couples' ministries will remain locally. Actually, it is often easier if the couples' ministries or callings are localised. More often than not, I realise that situations where people's vision becomes incompatible are not addressed, especially for aspiring missionaries. I am not sure if this is a situation that is peculiar to the context that I operate in. Yet, I just want to point out that if you are a single, and if you are sure that God is leading you to go church planting, there is no use in pursuing a girl who has set her heart away from that path.
Lastly, ending the whole post, my EJ160E made its debut today during the church wedding: