Should girls ask guys out?
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/should-girls-ask-guys-out
To the author's credit, this is a thoughtful piece of article, although the concluding reference on Ruth is precisely what I talked about previously - the quoting of biblical references that are out of context. Ruth was forced to initiate the relationship with Boaz due to her circumstances and it was not the most ideal case back in her times.
Let's put it this way, if a woman positions herself in the right places, she may find herself in a situation when she may be building a close and yet undefined friendship with a man she is attracted to. While her created role as a “helper-complement” means that the pattern of leadership has to come from the man, this does not preclude her from taking the initiative to define the relationship and creating the environment when the man is encouraged to take the leadership role in his relationship with the woman. In such an undesirable circumstance when a guy refuses to define the relationship, or when the relationship was unclear, the woman will need to assert herself and do what Candice Watters called “pulling a Ruth” (precisely taking the example from Ruth) to encourage the man to commit and define the relationship, whether they are in a relationship that is heading towards marriage, assuming the man is an honorable man like “Boaz”. This is really emulating Ruth, who was sent by Naomi to give Boaz an opportunity to clarify his position towards her, as described in Ruth 3. This is to protect the woman from being drawn into an intimate relationship without the man’s commitment. Indeed, in the woman’s search for a life partner, it is not wise for her to consider a man who is not ready to commit to marriage. It is hence her role to ensure that this man is willing to commit, even though it is preferable for her to allow the man to initiate. She will need to encourage the man to make a decision and be prepared to terminate the relationship if the man refuses to commit after she has given him the opportunity to do so.
To the author's credit, this is a thoughtful piece of article, although the concluding reference on Ruth is precisely what I talked about previously - the quoting of biblical references that are out of context. Ruth was forced to initiate the relationship with Boaz due to her circumstances and it was not the most ideal case back in her times.
Let's put it this way, if a woman positions herself in the right places, she may find herself in a situation when she may be building a close and yet undefined friendship with a man she is attracted to. While her created role as a “helper-complement” means that the pattern of leadership has to come from the man, this does not preclude her from taking the initiative to define the relationship and creating the environment when the man is encouraged to take the leadership role in his relationship with the woman. In such an undesirable circumstance when a guy refuses to define the relationship, or when the relationship was unclear, the woman will need to assert herself and do what Candice Watters called “pulling a Ruth” (precisely taking the example from Ruth) to encourage the man to commit and define the relationship, whether they are in a relationship that is heading towards marriage, assuming the man is an honorable man like “Boaz”. This is really emulating Ruth, who was sent by Naomi to give Boaz an opportunity to clarify his position towards her, as described in Ruth 3. This is to protect the woman from being drawn into an intimate relationship without the man’s commitment. Indeed, in the woman’s search for a life partner, it is not wise for her to consider a man who is not ready to commit to marriage. It is hence her role to ensure that this man is willing to commit, even though it is preferable for her to allow the man to initiate. She will need to encourage the man to make a decision and be prepared to terminate the relationship if the man refuses to commit after she has given him the opportunity to do so.
But because of the context by which Ruth operates in, I hesitate to say that it fairly applies to all women who wants to have a relationship that leads towards marriage. I have to acknowledge that I do find girls who have to initiate a relationship a turn-off, particularly due to the fact that I believe guys should really take the initiative and not wait for the girl. However, I do acknowledge that sometimes, due to the undesirable situations that the girls face, especially in the face of the corrupted world where we know that the original intentions of God's creations have been marred by sins, it becomes necessary for the girls to take the initiatives, and not let themselves be left in the limbo that only serves to gratify the guys and leaving her in a disadvantageous position.
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