The reflecting theologian

This coming Tuesday will be the last day of my second semester in NUS and indeed time flies. In a few days, I will be year two and no longer a NUS freshman (Kenneth would have the same sentiment I think). It just seems like yesterday that I have went through the Gen Acts Matriculation package and it just seems like yesterday that I have received Christ and here I am, in E1A 03-05 alone guarding two classrooms, studying for the last paper of my second semester, which happens to be European history, some topic which I enjoy a love hate relationship with. But last dash? Immediately after my paper, I will be embarking on a journey as a full time PAP activist and campaign full time for the candidate at my area. The contestant from the opposition does not pose any real threat but we still have to be careful and go all out to get the maximum number of vote. After that guy is someone who has experiences in winning elections, although that's all he can do. After election, then it will come ...

This song somehow just keeps playing in my mind when I was doing my two papers yesterday: I'll walk closer now on the higher way Through the darkest night will you hold my hand Jesus guide my way O you mourn with me and you dance with me For my heart of hearts is bound to you Though I walk through valleys low I'll fear no evil By the waters still my soul, My heart will trust in You x2 O You counsel me and You comfort me When I cannot see, You light my path My heart will trust in you - Hillsongs Speaking of papers yesterday and last Friday, I must admit, smoking is the word of the days, though I tried to smoke with hard facts. The Empires paper was quite straight forward though I was quite shocked by the simplicity of the questions. Nation building was also as straight forward as before, but somehow or rather, what I studied didn't come out of my head and I thought that my first question had been argued quite poorly. FNA was a watershed, though I think I have done relatively...

Too bad the law dictates that I cannot do my own pro-PAP propaganda here in my blog during this period. However, the law does not forbid me to discuss conspiracy theories over in my blog. So there are a lot of conspiracy theories out there. There are conspiracy theories which theorises the PAP as controlling every part of Singaporeans' life, up to the point when you mention anything that is remotely anti-government, you will disappear from the record of the MOM forever. Of course this is bullshit. There are also conspiracy theories that try to explain that the origins of life on Earth is a result of alien farming, that the crop circles are the doing of UFOs, that the uncle next door is a CIA agent, that the helicopter out there is actually a new technology that disguises itself up as a helicopter. Of course the most absurd conspiracy theory that I have ever heard (in Singapore context) is that we need an opposition (just joking). But the greatest conspiracy that a human being can e...

'Oh God, where are You when I need You?' - someone out there 'It is only when people reach the dead end of life will they start thinking and searching for God.' - Huanyan Reaching the dead end? Desperate? Where is He when you need Him the most? He's there, just besides you, if only you ask, if only you seek, if only you open the door of your heart to let Him in. Walked out? Backslided? Felt that God is not there? It's not God who has moved, cos He's there all along. It's us who have moved away from God. This means that the only one thing that we need to do is to go back to Him. It's just simple. In a sense, I can relate with all these, though I have not walked out of God before, but there was once a time when it seems so difficult to accept Him into my life yet it seems that I need Him so much in my life. There seems a time when I need Him the most, but I locked Him out of the way. There seems a time when I know He's there but I chose to ignore H...

Deja vu. This is some sort of feeling which invokes mixed feeling, a strange and unexplainable feeling. I can still remembers the days of my NS when I was doing night duty at ... night (duh) - the prowling especially after my BMT (but considering I have never done prowling in my BMT). Prowling will alway involve a pair of prowlers and a sentry will always involve... a sentry. Prowling is the time where people either worsen their relationship with each other or consolidate their relationship with each other. For me, I have certainly consolidated my relationship with the RPs at my camp, although I didn't really get to mix around with them much, but they know me and I know them well enough to 'hala' with each other. Prowling also allowed me to know more about my prowling buddy better, especially if I'm doing someone of the same unit as me. But of course, I dun normally view guard duty with anticipation since it means I have to stay in camp a whole night (a whole day if it...

While CSJ the Useless is outside doing his useless shouting in a language no one can understand (then why do people call him useless for), I am drinking my milo and starting on my revision for the day. Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all th...

Now, after a morning of survey and an afternoon of determining why and how empires were established and in anticipation of the evening sub d meeting, I decided to take a kitkat. As usual, my way of destressing, other than reading the bible currently, is blogging. As I am typing this, a sense of deja vu just came over me. Last some six months ago(around there), I was sitting at the same table, same classroom doing the same thing: studying for my exam. Same seat somemore. On the whiteboard, there is currently 7 rules for the use of the classroom (though there are invaders to the classroom but I am sure that they will retreat in the evening) and rule 6 says Pray 100%, study 100%. I then wrote something beside it, 'do your best and let God do the rest'. Then, Guan Zhen commented something which really struck me a bit (although I was well aware of that). She commented that last sem, I was writing something else (for what I have written, refer to my msn nick). That time I was still a...

In the midst of studying, especially after learning about two disasters from my HY2245 module, I decided to take a peep at one mini clip at hosaywood . The title of this clip is called Zo Peng, or literally translated as 'Being a soldier' and is acted by three girls, who happen to be living in a society where girls serve NS and guys get away scorch free from the 'misery' of serving their duty for the country. It is an interesting film which attempts to recreate the general feeling and the sentiment of the people in the service. It was funny, but at the same time, nostalgic. I just begin to miss my army days, man. My army days (or better known as daze?) started out just like the normal enlistee. I spent 4 months of my NS in BMT, where I had the most siong time of my army days. It was unforgettable, and the friendship I managed to build up during that period was... just simply put it, memorable, though I now only maintain contact with my BMT buddy. Then after POP(corn), I...

Hallelujah, Jesus is alive. Death has lost its victory And the grave has been denied When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices so that they might go to anoint Jesus' body. Very early on the first day of the week, just after sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb and they asked each other, "Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?" But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed. "Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter, 'He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.' " - Mark 16:1-7 For what I received I passed on to ...

From the sixth hour until the ninth hour darkness came over all the land. About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?"—which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" When some of those standing there heard this, they said, "He's calling Elijah." Immediately one of them ran and got a sponge. He filled it with wine vinegar, put it on a stick, and offered it to Jesus to drink. The rest said, "Now leave him alone. Let's see if Elijah comes to save him." And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit. At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook and the rocks split. The tombs broke open and the bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. They came out of the tombs, and after Jesus' resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many people. When the centurion and those with him who were g...

Have you all ever wonder why you are in a certain place in a certain timing? Have you all ever wonder why are you born in your country of birth, why are you born to your parents, why are you studying in a particular place, why are you reading my blog at this particular time and why I decide to type this stupid question of asking you why you are reading my blog? I always believe that I'm here for a reason, that I'm maintaining this blog for a reason, that I'm in NUS majoring in history and minoring in technopreneurship for a reason, that I'm involved in political activities for a reason, and lastly, that I'm a Christ follower for a reason. It seems strange but when I first received Christ, I seemed to mix in well with my caregroup. Apparently, I have been so familiar with them that I had no problem gelling in to my current caregroup. But thinking of it, it could have been other caregroups instead. It could have been other churches instead. It could easily been Campus...

It came as a surprise, as an unexpected thing. Got a last minute sms yesterday asking me out for a class gathering cum birthday celebration. It's a good time, considering I have no project discussion, and I have nothing on in the evening, I was so glad that I had the chance to go down to Holland Village and catch up with the rest of my 'long lost' classmates. We went down to Swenson, and I was horrified by the pricing (I thought I knew it long ago) and I decided to satisfy myself by marvelling at the pictures on the menu. But we did order an Earthquake and four people had trouble trying to finish it. The Rummy Raisin ice cream was great... almost got drunk by eating too much of it... (like real). And I really thank God for the time last night. It was then when I realised that there were still some in the class who have not come to the realisation that I have received Christ into my life. Come to speak of it, it was quite funny when we were at the bus stop waiting for that e...

Our hearts and our life resemble a room, a very very dark room, a totally completely dark room. So dark, that we cannot see anything. So dark that we cannot even see ourselves. Even if we know something is in the room for sure, it is impossible to see because the room is dark. We know it's there but it's dark. We cannot see anything. We just cannot see anything. We just cannot see anything. But that's where our faith comes in. That is where faith in God comes in. We know. We know that while we cannot see it, we can be absolutely sure that in times of darkness and difficulties, we have God. We have His absolute love. We can be confident of that, that absolutely it's there. Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. - Hebrews 11:1 That's what it means. Be certain of what we do not see. It can be understood, that during dark and difficult times, we may not be able to see His grace, His love, His faithfulness, or His promises. But it ...

Hi, my name is Huanyan. Do you believe in Easter? Do you believe in Easter? Do you believe that you can have a second chance in living through Christ Jesus, because he died on the cross and resurrected three days later? You know, we are all messed up. I'm sure we have all done things which we wish we can retract. We have all done so much wrong things that we want to start over again if we can have a chance. That's why sometimes, we want a chance of environment, a change of school, a change of workplace. Cos the future holds the hope of something better. But starting over will require a few steps. We need to be genuine, to have the right motivation to live a second chance. We need to be transformed and we need to have a deep sense of urgency. For me, what does all these mean? For me, the right motivation to live a second chance is to have awe for God and be motivated to live for Him and the love that originates in Christ which propels us ti live for Christ. I understand that som...

Give up? Why? Why would I give up what I have given up in order to serve God? Now, understand that one of the most valuable things that a person could possibly have is an intimate relationship with God. That same God who is big enough and powerful enough to create the whole universe is also small enough and caring enough to desire a personal relationship with you--a relationship that will last for eternity. And such an intimate friendship does not happen by chance and it requires time, as other relationships will. There is principle in the bible which states that you reap what you sow: Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously - 2 Corinthians 9:6 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. - Galatians 6:7-8 This counts for so...

Last night, I was privileged enough to enter the last district meeting and had the chance of having 4 leaders in the district who are moving on to the adult group to share their 'last words' with us. They shared quite a lot of their valuable thoughts and experience but there are actually two things which quite strucked me. Tony, in the midst of sharing, told us how he had seen leaders who have served God to their best of their ability but yet suffered in terms of results. He mentioned that it is both possible to serve God fully and yet enjoy good result as well. It truly strucked a chord in me, especially after hearing that he has managed to obtain good result and yet managed to serve God in the same capacity as others. I truly believe, that God has a reason in putting me in NUS studying history in major and technopreneurship in minor. One thing is that by placing me there, I believe that God also wants me to do well in my studies, so that I can in turn glorify Him and bear tes...

I guess it has been quite a taxing time for the past and the next few weeks. So far, let's see what have I left after clearing the test yesterday: EU1101E - cleared tests and simulation JS1101E - Project paper 90% done, due 13 April FNA1002 - Project report 25% done, due 10 April, cleared test and presentation HY2229 - cleared tests HY2245 - Project simulation due 17 April, cleared essay and book review Now, I have the last test of my semester yesterday. I must admit, I didn't really studied for the test (a bit too complacent) and I just read my lecture notes 2 hours before the test. As usual, I can only pray for God's grace and mercy to be upon me. I must say, the test turned out to be rather... interesting. If one were to enter LT11 in the midst of the test, you wouldn't be able to locate where I am, since I was covered in smoke, as a result of the smoke grenades that I keep throwing. But on a more serious note, despite the lack of preparations, I was really quite rea...